Week 5 Blog Assignment 2

          It’s always quite difficult for me to think about disagreements or conflicts I recently experienced, especially when I feel the other person is not willing to compromise. An example of this is when my husband allows our children to watch television until they fall asleep. I tell them to set their tv to go off in 30 minutes. When I go upstairs hours later, the children are still up watching television. It caused my husband to exhibit irresponsibility between us. When someone you work with or depend on does not show up or performs their responsibilities in a careless way, their negligence provokes conflict. Feelings of anger and resentment occur (O'Hair et al., 2018, p. 218). I tried explaining to my husband that the children are tired at school they fall asleep in class, which makes it difficult for the teachers to teach. I decided on cooperative strategies, strategies that benefit a relationship, serve mutual rather than individual goals, and strive to produce solutions that benefit both parties” (O’Hair et al., 2018, p. 228). Productive conflict was done because I reached out to my daughter's teachers, and we had a meeting explaining how counterproductive staying up late is to our children’s education. 
          The definition of apologies means to openly take responsibility for your own misbehavior in a miscommunication (O’Hair et al., 2018, p. 231) which, is something my husband has difficulty doing. I will offer a supportive climate, a communication climate that offers communicators a chance to practice empathy, and honestly explore the issues involved in the conflict situation. (p. 220). I will use emblems and affect displays so my husband can understand that this is serious. These strategies presents clarity to the person you are conversing with. It lets them know your specific stance on what needs resolve. In honestly expressing my feelings and need for our children to acquire a good nights sleep, it clearly showed my husband, to empathetically listen, and see-through observation that a compromise must be had. We both decided that our children are allowed to watch tv for 30 mins on weekdays, and 2hrs on weekends. Of course, under the conditions that all homework and chores are completed.
          To all my peers who are married or in relationships I ask, do you think this situation was handled appropriately, or should I have used other strategies? If so, please share. I always welcome insight into any conflict I try to resolve because there are multiple ways for resolution. The more I know, the better prepared I am for what’s to come. 

Reference

O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D.I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication: An introduction (4th. Ed). New York: Bedford? St. Martin’s

Week 4 Assignment 2

             After taking the test, my answers would have been different if I had known it pertained to family, work, or outside extracurricular activities. In knowing this beforehand my results would surely have been different each time. The similarities of all tests were that I am a people-oriented person. The definition is spot and identifies me as empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others. The listening style helps you to build relationships, but it can interfere with proper judgment because you tend to be very trusting of others (https://saylordotorg.github.io/text_stand-up-speak-out-the-practice-and-ethics-of-public-speaking/s07-02-listening-styles.html). There were no differences between how I evaluated myself and how others evaluated me. It showed me that I surround myself with people that read me the same way I read myself.

             An explanation for being time-oriented had me a bit taken back because it too was so correct. It stated, your day is tightly scheduled, and you carefully allocate your time for listening. You prefer that others respect your time limitations, and you can appear efficient but impatient (https://saylordotorg.github.io/text_stand-up-speak-out-the-practice-and-ethics-of-public-speaking/s07-02-listening-styles.html ). As if it knows I am married, with 6 children, working part-time, caring for a mother, all while in Grad school. My people-oriented listening style is correct because, as a child, I never had the opportunity to state my case. I was taught that children are to be seen but not heard, and adults were always right. This is why I adopt such a listening style to my well-being because it stems way back to my childhood and not being able to have a voice. Time-oriented listening correlates with my people-oriented style because my time is limited, and every second counts outside of the classroom.

           When I was asked a question by Dr. Cara, do you see the connections between cultural humility and cultural myopia? To answer this question, I first had to confirm my understanding that both were correct. The National Institutes of Health (NIH) defines cultural humility as a lifelong process of self-reflection and self-critique whereby the individual not only learns about another's culture, but one starts with an examination of her/his own beliefs and cultural identities (Sufrin, 2019). Cultural myopia occurs when information entering into the colonized mind is focused solely through a limited worldview, and anything existing outside of that limited worldview cannot be seen with clarity (https://www.answers.com/Q/What_is_cultural_myopia). Do I see the connections, yes, because they both focus on what the individual knows and nothing else? The individual's culture, beliefs, and identity are the only things prioritized. This is similar to people-oriented individuals, not hearing what’s trying to be said.

            To reiterate, people-oriented listeners pay attention to the personal details of a speaker and not to the speaker's actual message. Time-oriented listeners pay attention to messages that are short and concise as a result of limited attention spans or limited time commitments (https://saylordotorg.github.io/text_stand-up-speak-out-the-practice-and-ethics-of-public-speaking/s07-02-listening-styles.html). In my professional work and personal life, I do hope the comment of how people-oriented individuals do not listen to a speaker's actual message will never apply to me. I want to have mindful competent communication so; the speaker understands that I hear what they are trying to convey. 

References

(n.d.), from https://saylordotorg.github.io/text_stand-up-speak-out-the-practice-and-ethics-of-public-speaking/s07-02-listening-styles.html

Sufrin, J. (2019, November 05). 3 Things to Know: Cultural Humility. Retrieved from https://hogg.utexas.edu/3-things-to-know-cultural-humility

What is cultural myopia? (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.answers.com/Q/What_is_cultural_myopia

Blog 3 Assignment

Blog 3 Assignment 

           Why yes, I find myself communicating differently with colleagues at school, in my neighborhood, workplace, and family setting. The platinum and Golden rules take into consideration jargon and emblems to fit the current conversation being held. “If the symbols are well-chosen, the code shared, and the messages sent as intended, the interaction has high communicative value, and misunderstandings are less likely” (O'Hair et al., 2018).

            I certainly communicate differently with friends and family members because we have multiple cocultures in common. “Cocultures are smaller groups of people within a larger culture that are distinguished by features such as race, religion, age, generation, political affiliation, gender, sexual orientation, economic status, educational level, occupation, and a host of other factors” (O'Hair et al., 2018). For example, my daughters attend Duke school and my nephews attend Spring Valley Elementary. Education from different perspectives one private and the other public exposes them to different experiences the same as I. I’m appreciative of the opportunity to experience and support each other’s learning differences. Another example is that my religion is different from others in my cocultures. It’s helped me learn how to communicate differently to with people of other religions, especially during the holidays. I’m careful not to use hate speech and wish a person of another faith an inappropriate salutation.        

            The three strategies I would use to communicate more effectively with people, different groups and cultures are the following:

1. Deliver effective communication so that I am understood.
2. Be a good listener- To apply
3. Know when to seek extra support.

            I know I am a visual learner I must understand that others may not be. We have several multiple intelligences we can apply to education. However, if communicating is not understood learning is not met.

Reference

O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D.I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication: An introduction (4^th. Ed). New York: Bedford? St. Martin’s.

WK2 Blog Assignment

             I decided to pick a show of which my mother doesn’t like to be interrupted while watching. I chose Love & Marriage: Huntsville on Own Network entitled, Melody’s Special Delivery Part I. I wanted to use subtitles at the bottom of my screen because that’s the first thing that came to mind if I was unable to hear. Then I decided not to because what if I had a television that didn’t have such a feature. Although I never went shopping for a flat-screen that gives subtitles in different languages, I was certainly glad that all the televisions in my house has this feature.

            During my nonverbal observation, I noticed facial expressions exhibiting sadness, disgust, anger, interest, and happiness. While watching the show with no sound there were oculesics and ambiguous signs leading to leakage cues. I labeled the main character as not being married because I didn’t see a ring on her finger. However, she is pregnant, and she may not have it on because her fingers may be swollen. The physical appearance of the main female Melody’s character looked as though she was doing a lot of wedding planning. The physical appearance of the main male character showed him having a meeting with another man. My communication accommodation theory had me presume he was assisting with the wedding planning, or either attending a class furthering his education, or in a meeting pertaining to work or employment.

            The venue was beautiful, people were clapping on the day of the affair. I noticed they had everyone waiting outside the venue while they road up in a horse and carriage. Baby Holt was written behind there sitting area. The conversation of the two mothers about the couple had subtitles during their interaction saying, “I told you they were going to be fine that’s why I said just stay out of it!” Then there was silence and no subtitles followed. After the commercial break, it said, Melody’s special delivery. Nonverbal communication led me to channel discrepancy. I had no additional subtitles or other various signs for me to make out what’s happening other than cognitive language. This confirmed it was a baby shower and not a wedding, it was my first Aha moment.

            During my comparison of nonverbal and verbal communication observations, I was left with the use of my cognitive language. I drew my own conclusions to what was going on by trying to remain optimistic. The language spoken throughout the entire show was with connotative meaning, “the emotional or attitudinal response people have to a word” (O'Hair et al., 2018). What I also learned is that if they have an abstraction ladder, “a model that ranks communication from specific, which ensures clarity, to general and vague” (p. 102) so that misunderstandings and physical altercations wouldn’t happen. Maybe this would be something I would consider watching. This show uses evasion tactics to lure show watchers like my Mom to tune in next week.

            Certainly, my assumptions would be more accurate if this was a show in which I was familiar. I do agree with the article, A crash course in Communication when they said, “Understand that people want to feel heard more than they care about whether you agree with them. It's strange how many people complain about others not hearing them, yet they don't listen to others either!” (Walters, Fenson, 2000). To me, this is my definition of this show. The married couples need to exhibit a truth-default theory, “people to believe others without suspecting deception” (O'Hair et al., 2018). Unfortunately, this behavior was not exhibited in this television show.

             My mother suggests I watch the television show from the beginning so I can get a better understanding of what’s going on. I do hope it will have a positive resolve by the end of the season.

References

O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D.I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication: An introduction                  (4^th.ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

·      Chapter 4, “Verbal Communication”

·      Chapter 5, “Nonverbal Communication”

·      Chapter 7, “Listening”

Walters, J., & Fenson, S. (2000). A crash course in communication. Retrieved from

            http://www.inc.com/articles/2000/08/20000.html