It’s always quite difficult for me to think about disagreements or conflicts I recently experienced, especially when I feel the other person is not willing to compromise. An example of this is when my husband allows our children to watch television until they fall asleep. I tell them to set their tv to go off in 30 minutes. When I go upstairs hours later, the children are still up watching television. It caused my husband to exhibit irresponsibility between us. When someone you work with or depend on does not show up or performs their responsibilities in a careless way, their negligence provokes conflict. Feelings of anger and resentment occur (O'Hair et al., 2018, p. 218). I tried explaining to my husband that the children are tired at school they fall asleep in class, which makes it difficult for the teachers to teach. I decided on cooperative strategies, strategies that benefit a relationship, serve mutual rather than individual goals, and strive to produce solutions that benefit both parties” (O’Hair et al., 2018, p. 228). Productive conflict was done because I reached out to my daughter's teachers, and we had a meeting explaining how counterproductive staying up late is to our children’s education.
The definition of apologies means to openly take responsibility for your own misbehavior in a miscommunication (O’Hair et al., 2018, p. 231) which, is something my husband has difficulty doing. I will offer a supportive climate, a communication climate that offers communicators a chance to practice empathy, and honestly explore the issues involved in the conflict situation. (p. 220). I will use emblems and affect displays so my husband can understand that this is serious. These strategies presents clarity to the person you are conversing with. It lets them know your specific stance on what needs resolve. In honestly expressing my feelings and need for our children to acquire a good nights sleep, it clearly showed my husband, to empathetically listen, and see-through observation that a compromise must be had. We both decided that our children are allowed to watch tv for 30 mins on weekdays, and 2hrs on weekends. Of course, under the conditions that all homework and chores are completed.
To all my peers who are married or in relationships I ask, do you think this situation was handled appropriately, or should I have used other strategies? If so, please share. I always welcome insight into any conflict I try to resolve because there are multiple ways for resolution. The more I know, the better prepared I am for what’s to come.
The definition of apologies means to openly take responsibility for your own misbehavior in a miscommunication (O’Hair et al., 2018, p. 231) which, is something my husband has difficulty doing. I will offer a supportive climate, a communication climate that offers communicators a chance to practice empathy, and honestly explore the issues involved in the conflict situation. (p. 220). I will use emblems and affect displays so my husband can understand that this is serious. These strategies presents clarity to the person you are conversing with. It lets them know your specific stance on what needs resolve. In honestly expressing my feelings and need for our children to acquire a good nights sleep, it clearly showed my husband, to empathetically listen, and see-through observation that a compromise must be had. We both decided that our children are allowed to watch tv for 30 mins on weekdays, and 2hrs on weekends. Of course, under the conditions that all homework and chores are completed.
To all my peers who are married or in relationships I ask, do you think this situation was handled appropriately, or should I have used other strategies? If so, please share. I always welcome insight into any conflict I try to resolve because there are multiple ways for resolution. The more I know, the better prepared I am for what’s to come.
Reference
O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D.I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication: An introduction (4th. Ed). New York: Bedford? St. Martin’s
Great post Lewanda, this type of conflict is happening more often now in families especially with the online learning from home with the school age children. My ex-husband and I always had disagreement with his style of strategies when it came to the children, hence the divorce. I think with your style and the method you have chosen to work together is a great way and was handled appropriately.
ReplyDeleteHi Lewanda, I agree with you that conflicts can be very challenging with the other individual is not willing to compromise. In your situation, cooperative strategies sounds like a great solution for you and your husband. I am glad you were able to talk through the problem in order to come out with a plan that works out for everyone.
ReplyDeleteHi Lewanda,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all thank you for sharing. I agree with your first statement, I don't like thinking about conflict especially when the person I am having the conflict with does not want to compromise with me.
I myself am married, but do not have any children yet. My husband and I find conflict often but we do approach one another and speak about how we feel and try to always apologize at the end of the day. I think that your strategies worked well and I believe talking through a problem is important for any relationship to find growth.
-Heather
Lewanda, I try to avoid conflict as much as possible but at times it is something we all have to encounter. It makes it harder when you have people who are not willing to compromise. I know that when I become angry I shut down sometimes and that does not help with coming up with a goal. I like how you were able to share the cause and effect of your children staying up late and then collaborate with your husband and children's' teachers.
ReplyDelete